initiation

I guess real initiation happens only when you learn that the pain of your sufferings is the sign that you are going to receive an abundance of blessings with a new beautiful beginning.
To be honest I am waiting for this initiation just to leave this worldly illusion of sufferings or exultations. I just want to feel nothing. Only that holy name should entice me and Drive me crazy to be one with it. This is my only wish. This would be the new beginning and ending itself.
I am surrounded with demons of my own personality.I just want to overcome these demons fear, anxiety, anger,agony, attachments.Just want to get Rid of these demons.bless me Govinda.

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